Dear radish and cucumber salad, I love you

2 large English (seedless) cucumbers, sliced on a mandolin *
2 bunches radish sliced on a mandolin
1/3 cup rice vinegar
1 tablespoon toasted sesame oil
1 tablespoon minced fresh dill or 1/2 teaspoon dried dill weed
1 generous pinch of kosher salt
1 generous pinch of sugar (optional)
1/4 teaspoon crushed red pepper flakes

Marinate for 15 min. or so.  Serve chilled. Await compliments.

(Greatly adapted from http://www.foodiewithfamily.com/2012/05/03/asian-marinated-cucumber-salad/)

My husband hates green salad.  I'm not sure if there is any nutrition in this but .. hey, it's salad!

*Persian cucumbers have a thinner skin that aren't bitter and don't require pealing.  

Save money! Buy Cheetos!

This is a continuation of a long thought process that has been brewing for a couple of weeks.  Part 1 was all about how to have the right philosophy of spending when it comes to food.  Part 2 was all about how I save money by carefully choosing where I shop and Part 3 is all about how to save money by how you eat. 

We buy a lot of food in bulk in our house.  I simply cannot keep enough ingredients on hand in my pantry if I have 20 cans of black beans for a single family meal so I keep 1lb bags of black beans, soak them overnight and can feed 8 of us (with left overs!).  An organic 16oz package usually costs well under $2.

For dinner we usually have
- a starch/carbohydrate
- a protein
- a healthy fat (FYI healthy fat is good for you BTW)
- fruit / vegetable

We drink nothing but water - usually and at the rate we go through milk we use it ONLY for cereal and/or recipes - never for drinking.

Carbohydrate
By keeping 10lbs of brown rice on hand along with bulk quinoa (which is gross, don't eat it unless you must), GF pasta, cornmeal for corn bread and organic potatoes we try to cycle through several grains and starches for diversity.  By  buying organic grains in their ingredient state instead of a processed/prepared state they are still pretty cheap.  I also buy a variety of GF flours and mix them myself so I can do traditional baking when we have dinner pancakes and other things requiring flour.  (Commercial GF mixes are mega expensive and very sparse on nutrition.)  If I had a grain mill I would use it and save even more.

Protein:
A serving size of protein for an adult is equivalent to the palm of your hand for a female and two hands for a male.  We buy whole chicken, frozen chicken tenders, frozen chicken breast, ground turkey, and ground beef.  If a recipe calls for any other kind of meat I'm kind of lost though I can make a decent pot roast and pork ribs and the occasional brisket or ham.  I wish I was more diverse here.


Fat:
Fat is good for you.  You need it.  Read about it here if you don't believe me or do your own research.  We use oils in cooking, nuts, avocado, flax seed meal to fulfill this need.

Fruit / veggies:
We buy local organic from Rutiz Farms in A.G. and non-local bulk organic veggies from Costco.  For the most part I only buy organic if it means the difference of a couple of bucks per pound.  If it is on the dirty dozen list and I can't afford to buy the organic equivalent I don't buy it very often.

To make things fancy I keep a well stocked spice cabinet and to keep us out of a rut I try to get cookbooks and magazines from the library when I run out of ideas.  I'm too ADHD when I search online - I lose my train of thought or go out and buy all the ingredients but forget where I found the recipe.
But one thing that I just found that promises to help out a lot is Ziplist.  You can menu plan and build a shopping list from hundreds of different online recipe sources and use the smartphone app when you shop to make sure you get everything.

So what does cheetos have to do with anything?  Despite hours of online searching I can find nothing that is a practical shape and size for keeping our bulk dry goods in.  My kids love me for it.

o.k. here's how I save money on food (but read the other post first)

I know.  After that last post you just hate me.  Of course I had to share my philosophy before I shared what our eating climate looks like in real life.

I have 5 children and a teenage niece in my house which means that on most nights I need to plan on feeding 20 people or so.  That combined with other financial constraints means I try to make the most out of every food $ I have.

After we started eating gluten free 2 years ago we slowly gave up almost all processed foods.  This month we gave up on commercial peanut butter spread (check the label on your PB, if it says peanut spread it has too many additives to be considered peanut butter.) The only things left in my pantry are ingredients and pasta sauce in glass jars.  And some healthy GF crackers.  And some healthy cereal.  (and some cheetos) But that's it guys.  (and some pre-made indian sauces) O.k. we're still working on it.

So what do we eat?  Where do we shop? How do we save money?

Here are the ways I try to save money

1.) Don't ever let anything spoil.  Buy food on sale that you can't use before it spoils doesn't save you money.  You can't buy a weeks worth of food at a time if you want to eat fresh meat and veggies. (If you disagree with me PLEASE tell me how you do it!!)

2.) Menu plan.  Do it.  It doesn't work if you don't have all the ingredients you need for those stellar recipes you get off the internet.  Menu plan and shop on the same day or it all falls apart and you eat a lot of rice and beans and cheese for a coupla days until you have a chance to go to the store by yourself because you simply CANNOT shop with all 5 kids and remember to get everything on your list.

3.) Keep a list of staples on you pantry door.  Check them before making your shopping list.

4.) Shop the fronts and backs of the grocery store adds.  Shop the perimeter of the store.

5.) Costco = Buying in bulk from quality sources. 

6.) Amazon.com = Buying in bulk from questionable sources, do your homework and use that free shipping.  If I can't get it from Costco I get it delivered.

7.) Organic farm box for $15, yes please! we buy at Rutiz farm and this Friday we are getting our first taste of completely grass fed ground beef there as well.

8.) Don't feel guilty when you break all the rules.  I have a good-better-best mentality.  We try to eat good, we could do better but we're doing our best.  Veggies are good, organic is better, local organic is best.  Whatever you can manage on a daily/weekly/monthly basis to feed nourish your family is better than giving into the convenience of cracking open a can (in our case many many many cans) of chili.  That stuff looks like dog food to me.

  And just so you know, because I'm feeling super sanctimonious and guilty right now I have to say - I bought and fed my children Mac and Cheese on Monday in a moment of weakness.  Neon orange food from a box. It looked disgusting.

How to spend more money on food

With the economy being as it is I sat down the other day racking my brains to figure out how I could spend more money on food.  We live in a time and a place that has so much available to us at such incredible prices it's a shame we don't spend a bigger portion of our budget on the great food that is clamoring for out attention in the fields around us.

If locavore, organic, gluten-free, free range, tenderly massaged on a daily basis, sung to sleep at night animals and vegetables isn't on your priority list, well, perhaps it ought to be.

Did you know that :

• “Americans enjoy the cheapest food supply in the world, spending the smallest share of their income on groceries of any country.” (Source: Chicago Tribune Reporter)
• “No other nation on the planet spends as much as we do on medical care.” (Source: Robyn O’Brien)
• “People are fed by the Food Industry, which pays no attention to health, and are treated by the Health Industry, which pays no attention to food.” (Source: Wendell Berry)

(For more statistics go here, which is where I lifted my info from because I'm lazy.)

Wonder if there might perhaps be some connection between a rise in obesity, a shrinking life expectancy and a multitude of health problems that are connected to our eating environment?

You are what you eat.  Your body doesn't make cells out of air and water, it makes cells out of food and the quality of that food has an effect on your quality of life both now and down the road.

I overheard a recently recovered heart attack patient explain that the reason he brought home KFC for dinner was because he was trying to eat healthier.  I couldn't help it.  My jaw dropped. REALLY?  Where the 'L are people getting their information from???!!!  I don't think learning bogus food pyramid in preschool really cuts it anymore.  We need to inform our children and our culture about the food we eat and the impact it will have on our lives.

You can tell how much a person values a thing by how much time and money they spend on it.  High priority = lots of time and money.  Low priority = little time and money.

30 min meals and $10 dollar dinner? Drive thru?  What are we saying to ourselves?  Why are we trying to run our bodies on pink slime and paper?


O.k. so we aren't super hard core at my house.  We have snacks.  We let the kids eat the candy they get at parties.  We sometimes go out for ice cream and sometimes for Chipotle.  Sue me for being a hypocrite.  All I'm asking as that we take another look at food and find some other place in the budget to save money.

So the next time your children ask what's for dinner, tell them, "I'm making FOOD for dinner tonight,  FOOD. and it's going to take awhile ...."

The Holy and the Profane

Every time I read through the book of Leviticus I am blessed.  Maybe it is because I approach it with low expectations.  This time through I've been blown away by the continual contrast between the Holy and the profane. 

Holy things are treated with respect, approached carefully and guarded elaborately.  They can be contaminated by the profane but they can also elevate a common object and consecrate it.

Profane things have to declare their uncleanliness and warn everyone to keep their distance lest they too become unclean.   Unclean people have to stay outside the camp to keep from contaminating it.  Unclean things have to be cleaned and quarantined, but if they can't be cleansed, must be destroyed.

Don't you wish life would follow the pattern of Leviticus?  I really wish that the things that have a corrupting influence on my life would declare "unclean, unclean" as a PSA before trying their darndest to harden my heart.

I don't think I understand/practice the concept of Holiness in my daily life.  I don't even know what things in my life I ought to treat as special and set apart. 

I think that in trying to teach my kids to value the things that are important to God I need to do a better job of keeping things separate.  Making some things special - because they are worthy of a greater share of honor.  If God thought it was important to teach His children using visual aids and to reenforce His overall plan of salvation by teaching them that they were a people set apart to be holy, to live a counter-cultural lifestyle, to dress differently, eat differently, behave differently and in doing so thereby be a light to the nations maybe it's time I consider how to do so with my own children as well.

Entirely Naked

The neighborhood that we live in is quite familiar with every anatomical detail of my two year old.  Let's just say potty training has been quite a drawn out process and sometimes in his excitement to play outside with the other children, Isaac skips a few steps.

"Naked and unashamed".

I've been thinking a lot lately about what that phrase means.  Before I got married I was very concerned about standing in front of another person without anything to hide behind, completely unprotected from inspection and criticism.  In many ways I'm still like that.

I hide behind my clothes, don't you?  "Modest is hottest" - or so my niece tells me but I didn't put that bikini away until I had my fourth child.  I have quite a bit more to hide these days.

In contemplating my growing modesty and sense of propriety I've been struck by the thought that while my body needs more clothing these days, my relationships need less -- figuratively speaking of course.

We all wrap ourselves up in layer upon layer of protection, wanting to look our best to one another when we really ought to be vulnerable, to open our lives up for inspection, loving criticism and mutual edification.  How can a friend share a burden if it is covered in self reliance and pride?

Our culture tells us to be self reliant, to never allow another person to judge us, to not accept input from anyone and to make our own path  - the exact opposite of what I read in the Bible.  I John 4:18 says that "There is no fear where love exists.  Rather, perfect love banishes fear, for fear involves punishment, and the person who lives in fear has not been perfected in love."

I know that being vulnerable is dangerous.  That I will get hurt, heck, the passage in I John 4:18 tells us that we need to love as God did when he sent his Son.  God gave his very best: a naked, vulnerable little baby to be abused and rejected by the world and ultimately tortured and put to death.


God's love was risky, He knew it would be painful.  He gave us a taste of heaven and we spit it out.  Every time that we offer or reject intimacy with another person what we are ultimately rejecting is God, his example and his way of doing things.

Whenever I think about Isaac running around outside just as free as anything and happy as could be I wonder if instead of worrying about the pain of love, I could just hang onto the joy of holding nothing back, I too might be able to go skipping merrily down the hill like a two year old with his behind glistening in the sun.

The Golden Eagle

A golden wrinkle on a sea of blue
I saw and eagle and it saw me too
   as it crossed the mirror of a lake
where for and instant we each saw the others' fate.

In his eyes I was accursed and bound
to cast my eye on things beyond my reach.
And climb each tree and mountaintop I could
to grasp at the air and sky on which he stood.

But I --
I now saw him captured in an endless sky
bereft of features, a desert of the open air
a nomad climbing misty sand dunes there
over hilly thunderheads and blazing sun
no songs to sing to anyone.

And so I'll take up gravity with a cup of mirth
     and friendship
that are interred inside
the circle of the earth I ride.

The House of Christmas

by Gilbert Keith Chesterton

There fared a mother driven forth
Out of an inn to roam;
In the place where she was homeless
All men are at home.
The crazy stable close at hand,
With shaking timber and shifting sand,
Grew a stronger thing to abide and stand
Than the square stones of Rome.

For men are homesick in their homes,
And strangers under the sun,
And they lay their heads in a foreign land
Whenever the day is done.
Here we have battle and blazing eyes,
And chance and honor and high surprise,
But our homes are under miraculous skies
Where the yule tale was begun.

A Child in a foul stable,
Where the beasts feed and foam,
Only where He was homeless
Are you and I at home;
We have hands that fashion and heads that know,
But our hearts we lost - how long ago!
In a place no chart nor ship can show
Under the sky's dome.

This world is wild as an old wives' tale,
And strange the plain things are,
The earth is enough and the air is enough
For our wonder and our war;
But our rest is as far as the fire-drake swings
And our peace is put in impossible things
Where clashed and thundered unthinkable wings
Round an incredible star.

To an open house in the evening
Home shall men come,
To an older place than Eden
And a taller town than Rome.
To the end of the way of the wandering star,
To the things that cannot be and that are,
To the place where God was homeless
And all men are at home.

(thanks Catherine for sharing this one with me)

When the mice are away ...

Grandma took the kids on Sunday and I have had a delightful time crafting!! Here are some of the fruits of my labors:

The star is made from square dowels.  Instructions can be found on Lowe' websites but I think I like a 5 pointed star better than the one they made. 

The "Joy to the world" is made from a sheet of foam paper but I'm thinking of re-doing it in wool felt.

I've also had time recently to make a hex nut bracelet.  Thanks for the idea pinterest!  (Incedentally, being my own hand model totally reminds me of "The Hand" from Zoolander.)

What else ... oh yeah.  I've finally had some time to make some earings just for the heck of it.  I'm still playing with ideas. Too bad my camera phone can't capture the lovely warm peuter color of the leather on this earing. What do you think?  What crafts are you making this holiday season?

Second rate Mama

Of all the things I aspire to be, my biggest goal is to be second rate. 

I know that I'm broken, sinful, selfish, lazy ... and I want my kids to know it too.

It won't take them long to figure out that I will hurt, disapoint and fail in my attempt to love them as a parent.

And I have to.

I am a mother.  I am human.  I want my kids to see me as only the faintest picture of the great I AM who tell us:
      "I am the better Father,
            the better lover,
            the better food,
            the better drink,
            the better rest,
in short, -- everything that you need - I AM"

So if you are caught in the trap that says "I've got to be the perfect parent" dial it back a bit.  Show your kids as much as you humanly can, and when it isn't enough - point them to I AM.

Church Campout Lake San Antonio

Catching up ...

I've been saving up for a camera for quite some time now.  Obviously haven't gotten one yet.  Too bad for Charissa, she won't have very many baby pictures.  My mom just happened to leave her camera out when Zak gave her her first strawberry.  She loved it!!

And the diagnosis is ...

Hodkin lymphoma stage 1 or 2.  Caught in the early stages like this my nephew Ryan's prognosis is good as this kind of cancer has a high survivability rate.  He will start chemo tomorrow.  The next few months are going to be hell for him and his family.  Please pray for them when you think about it.

Please Pray

And speaking of praying ...  Please pray for my nephew Ryan.  He was admitted to Loma Linda last night to get a lump biopsied.  All preliminary testing is pointing to lymphoma.  His family has been through a lot lately.  This summer their house caught on fire in the middle of the night and it is only by God's grace that they woke up and made it out.  I don't even know how to pray at this point except for God's healing and that God would bless them with the comfort of His Holy Spirit to surround them with His love and peace.

Consumable vs. all Consuming

Sometimes I think I approach God as a consumer. 

I'm hungry - I eat.
I'm thirsty - I drink.
I need something magical - I pray.

But God isn't a consumable item.  Hebrew 12:29 tells us that He is a consuming fire. And if I am to live the way He wants me to, my petty, worldly, silly wishes will be replaced by a longing for His kingdom and glory.


What were you expecting of me?
     A cripple? A devil?
A fat man in a red hat?
    Don't talk to me like that.

And just what did you want to hear?
And what did you want to see
  because whatever you wanted, -
   it obviously wasn't me.

If you had asked for me
I would have given myself
but you asked for a god-shaped box
   to put on your Sunday shelf.

You asked for a good luck charm.
You asked for a santa clause
You asked expecting easy
   from a God without any claws.

You wanted love but no justice.
You wanted gifts and grace only.
"Come Lord Jesus" you whispered in bed
    but only because you were lonely.

You completely forgot about glory
You completely forgot about sin
your god - an impotent puppet
  why don't you go call upon him.

                             -jm

Heraclitus by William Johnson Cory

                                   Heraclitus

They told me, Heraclitus, they told me you were dead,
They brought me bitter news to hear and bitter tears to shed.
I wept, as I remembered, how often you and I
Had tired the sun with talking and sent him down the sky.

And now that thou art lying, my dear old Carian guest,
A handful of grey ashes, long long ago at rest,
Still are thy pleasant voices, thy nightingales, awake;
For Death, he taketh all away, but them he cannot take.

Occasionaly I find a poem that is so perfect and beautiful and inspiring I just have to share it.  Time to include William Johnson Cory to my list of must read poets.


And speaking of amazing poetry.  I'm in awe of Robert Browning's "Pippa Passes".  It is the most incredible play I've ever read.  I had never heard of it.  Have you?  If you've read it I'll take you out to coffee to discuss it.  Seriously! anybody out there read poetry anymore?

WWW Hair Edition 5

"The Un-pony"  I kind of wanted to spice up my boring side ponytail so I just grabbed two sections of hair and rubber banded them topsy tail style to channel my hair off to the side.  Perfect for at the pool today with only one more day of swim lessons left!

WWW Hair Edition 4

Down at Palm Springs with the in-laws last week and the wind was crazy so I did two french braids and looked like a hick.  So then I took out the french braids and did the same thing but twisting my hair instead.  - Still looked like a hick but I was tired of messing with my hair so I pinned up the ends.  Princess Leia.  Great.

WWW Hair Edition 3

I'm still photographing some of my favorite hairstyles.  I can't get a good picture of the back of my head but this is two loose buns with a headband.  No fancy title.  Easy as pie to do.  High ponytail, split into two sections, coiled loosely and pinned into place.  3min total (but only because I couldn't find my headband.)

Summer passport

Tomorrow is the last day of school. We already have a posterboard full of fun ideas for entertainment, education and project completion.

Normally summers go by too fast and I regret the time I spent on silly things so this summer I'm scheduling and being purposeful with my time. Here are a few ideas I've had

1. Reserve good, educational books for Zak and Eliot without their knowledge so that each time we go to the library they will have a surprise waiting for them.

2. Finish another 10 hikes from our 101 hikes of San Luis Obispo County book. It may take a few years but I am determined to get through it. We've had a great time discovering little pockets of our county we otherwise would have never come across.

3. I'm going to get some guide books from the library and find something I've never heard of or go some place I've never been. We've lived here 10 years and I'm always suprised by how little we know of all the great things this county offers. It's time to become a tourist!

4. I need to get to know the parents of all my kids' school friends better so we are planning a few "Family Playdates".

5. Go on a few weekend trips to places I've been meaning to take the kids for awhile like Monteray Bay Aquarium, The Getty Museum, The Huntington Library , and others.

I'd love a few more suggestions or ideas of great things to do this summer to add to our list.  Have a good recommendation?  Please share!!!!

Vaccination Debate

I'm not going to lie.  All of my kids are up to date on all their vaccinations (except for the baby).  None of them have had an adverse reaction.  None of them are autistic.  No harm no foul ... right?

But forgive me for over thinking this but I'm wondering why?  What is the point of vaccines?  Is it to prevent children from diseases they would most likely come in contact with and die from or expirience complications from?  I think we all think so.  Here is the list of the top 5 vaccinations, risks of contracting the disease and risk of death from these diseases.


1. Pertussis: 2010 saw the largest outbreak of pertussis in 65 years in California.  There were a total of 9,477 cases and 10 infant deaths (if you read the case studies on this it looks as if at least one of the infants had recieved the vaccine)

so ... with the population of California at 37253956, total cases in California = 9,477 do the math.  The chance of getting pertussis in California in an outbreak year is .00254%.  The chance of dying from pertussis is so incredibly small it is irrelevant, also, 90% of the cases were in individuals that are Hispanic.  I think I can safely say that this risk is low.  (Numbers come from the CDC the analysis comes from me so if the math is wrong it is my fault)

2. Diptheria:

"Recent Outbreaks
Locally, in the United States, there is an average of only 0 – 5 cases per year now with a 5-10% fatality rate.According to PAHO (Pandemic American Health Organization), the only recent epidemic of this disease occurred in Haiti beginning on August 3 2009 in which 33 cases were reported with 15 fatalities resulting (2-3). In 2007, 4190 cases were reported world-wide to the WHO (World Health Organization). According to the WHO, Armenia, Estonia, Lithuania and Uzbekistan currently have a rate of infection of .5 to 1 in 100,000 people with a fatality rate of 6-10% while Russia and Tajikistan have a rate of infection of 27 – 32 in a 100,000 people with a fatality rate of 2 – 3%."

Risk factors = living outside the US.  Here the risks are so amazingly tiny I won't bother with the math.

3. Tetnus: According to the CDC website

The average annual number of tetanus cases during 1998--2000 was 43 --- 45 cases in 1998, 42 in 1999, and 43 in 2000. The lowest average annual number of cases for a 3-year period in the United States since tetanus became reportable in 1947 was 41 cases per year during 1995--1997 (1). The average annual incidence rate during 1998--2000 was 0.16 cases per million population, approximately the same as the average annual rate during 1995--1997 (0.15 cases per million population). The incidence rate during 1998--2000 was a 96% decrease from 3.9 cases per million population reported in 1947

I could not find data for the last 10 years.  Risk for getting tetnus seems amazingly low.

4. Rotavirus:

"Vaccinated and unvaccinated children may develop rotavirus disease more than once because there are many different types of rotavirus and because neither vaccine nor natural infection provides full immunity (protection) from future infections. Usually a person’s first infection with rotavirus causes the most severe symptoms."  According to the CDC, the vaccine isn't super effective and according to this website the need for a vaccine for this is pretty shaky. The author of the article got most of their info off the CDC's webpage.

5. H. influenzae type b (Hib)
In 2009 there were a whopping 79 cases in California reported.  That gives us a risk of .000212% I'm shaking in my boots.  The fear is getting to be  overwhelming.  Better go out and vaccinate my baby. 

I understand the need to "vaccinate the herd" and  I will eventually bring Charissa's vaccinations up to date to be a good sheep but I'm more comfortable with my decision to delay it for now.  I feel like I need to be armed with facts and figures after the tongue lashing I got last time I refused the silver needle.  I just want to protect her as long as I can.

The Finger: phone pics

The bummer about nursing is that I simply can't get anything done in the evenings.  This means I spend most nights like this   

or like this.  

TV on.  Rotting my brain.  Snuggling my honnys.

Happy Mother's day

Funny story about this picture.  It was supposed to be a picture of JUST the kids but Isaac wasn't going to sit still for anyone so I had to slap on some lipgloss and hope that no one noticed that I don't really color coordinate with the kiddoes.  Oh well.  As it turns out it makes a perfect mother's day photo.

And speaking of mothers day

You know you are the mother of an infant when you dream of cereal all night and wake up smelling like milk.

You know you are are mother of more than 2 when you can't keep anyone's name straight.  "Come here Za, uh, Eli, uh , Is , uh, you'de better get right over here ... YOU."

You know you are the mother of more than 3 when you finally decide sleeping in your clothes is an efficient way of using your time and the easiest way of getting ready in the morning.

You know you are the mother of more than 4 when you constantly count your children .. just to make sure they are all there.

You know you are the mother of 5 when you have to ask yourself "Did I eat lunch, wait, did I even eat breakfast?" and "When was the last time I took a shower?" and "How many days have I worn these jeans anyway"

You know you are the mother of 6 when ... wait ... NOT GOING TO GO THERE!!!

And finally you know that you are a mom when you spend all evening gazing at the little cutie sleeping in your arms and nothing could tear your attention away.

So raise a cup of luke-warm re-heated 3 times (sadly) decaf coffee and let's toast to motherhood.  The world's most wonderful, noble, amazing, and beautiful profession.

(Did someone say toast?)

What I wore Wednesday

Some of the ladies at my church have been doing a post on Wednesday for awhile to just show the world what they wear .. for fun!  While I'm not up for displaying my post-prego transitional "wardrobe" I've been feeling like taking pictures of some of my favorite hair before I hack it all off.  Today: messy side braid bun

Good Friday

The sun died a little that day
the earth stood gasping in the dark
the light source gone
till shuddering, it flicked back on


The temple rent it's Vail

while scattered whispers
questioned, "Did He fail?"

and thundering silence
blanketed  the dawn.

Weekend Plans

If you don't have any plans this weekend and want to see a fun family movie, check out the sneak preview of "The Lost Medallion" at the new Atascadero movie theater (corner of highway 41 and El Camino Real)  as part of the San Luis Film Festival.  Some of the actors are driving up from L.A. and I've heard the handsome, talented and amazing (post production) Producer and visual effects Wizard will be there too. 

Happy New Year!

 I'm a little late on my New Year's resolutions but that is merely due to my thoroughly delayed evaluated thought process. This New Year I want to know Love.

Last Summer was glorious. All 6 of us had just moved into 3 three bedroom house and almost couldn't believe our good fortune! We were finally going to have enough room. The week after we moved in I found out I was pregnant, a month later my sister moved in, a month after that my niece and my parents joined them. With the birth of Charissa we are now a family of 11 ... in a 3 bedroom house.

Through all this I asked God to teach me how to love and serve my family. I still haven't figured it out (and honestly, I'm not really even trying sometimes) but the series we've been going through at church has really challenged me. I guess I had no idea what love is -- at all and I have been doing a very poor job.  (I cannot begin to summarize this series, you have to listen to the podcasts yourself.)

Somewhere in the chaos that is my life right now I've realized that the good times will come and go, life will always be harder than I wish it and relationships will always take more effort than I want to give but ...

...  to live a life that goes beyond bearable and that is full of the deepest satisfaction and overwhelming joy you must know God because to know God is to love God and to love God is to love others and in doing that -- we are doing what delights and pleases Him and us the most.  God tells us that He is love and in order to be more like Him I have to lift up my crippled little heart and let Him fill me with His crazy love.

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket- safe, dark, motionless, airless--it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.”  - C. S. Lewis

A little grace

So, just to clarify, the child's name is Charissa - rhymes with Melissa but starts with a K sound. It means Grace. Her middle name is Janelle which means God is gracious and in case you think we are being redundant we thought that by the time you get to baby number 5 you need extra grace.

Charissa Janelle Moses

Born: 01.25.11 at 8pm
Weight: 8.03
Length: 21in
mother and baby are at home and doing fine

details and pictures to come ...

Perspective

My wishes each process before your throne.
Behind them all a motive
    known to you alone.

You see right through them and address my need
     while I look on.

It seems you take no heed
    to my wants, my will -
         and yet
I trust you still.

Grace

I held out a little grace
             and said,
"It's not for you.
    You give to me instead. "

The hand that held the grace
           that I withdrew
 Returned empty
     and I knew

There is no grace for me
where there is none for you.

   We love because he first loved us.  Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen.  And he has given us this command: Anyone who loves God must also love their brother and sister.  

I John 4:19